Rebellion Happens in the Mind: Parent

Showing posts with label Parent. Show all posts

June 13, 2013

We like Adoption

Emblem of Hong Kong (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last night, T and I talked about kids, genetics, adoption, and blended families. It was good. We talked about how excited we are to have kids. (I'm not pregnant, to my knowledge, but we are actively trying to become so.) I told him how I'm second-guessing every little symptom and twinge I have, wondering if it means I'm pregnant or if it's just hot or I'm just tired or ate something weird. We talked about how our kids are likely to have his black hair, since it's dominant. We talked about how even if we have our own kids, even if we get a 'matching set' (boy and girl), we'd still really like to adopt. He told me how he used to be uncomfortable about adoption, but now the possibility excites him. My husband used to think that adoption was an either/or prospect, that you either had biological kids or you adopted. However, our pastor's family includes his two oldest children, both boys, both biological, and his youngest, a little girl whom they adopted from Hong Kong. They are a beautiful family. Their daughter is thoughful and amazing and kind and smart. As are their sons. I talked to their daughter at length last night. She is also perfectly secure and willing to talk about her adoption experience. She is so very happy with her family and obviously feels like she belongs. I feel like this has changed my husband's perspective on adoption and I am so very thankful for their influence.

January 23, 2013

Women

So everyone keeps talking about this new show "Girls".

It's really getting on my nerves.

To be fair, I haven't watched this show. It's on HBO, and seeing that I don't even have regular television, it would take some effort to acquire it and watch it. Also, none of what I've heard about it so far motivates me to make said effort.

But it seems that everywhere I turn, someone is talking about it and they won't shut up, so I am adding my two cents.

So in the very first episode, main character Hannah is at dinner with her parents, talking about her internship. I have dinner with my parents frequently, and usually quite enjoy it, especially when they are kind enough to pay for my food. Hannah and her parents are discussing her internship. Personally, when I was 24, I had moved past internship and was working full-time, sometimes 40+hours a week. However, internships can be very useful, positive things.

WHSAD Senior Student at Summer Internship (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But then she asks her parents for money. As I mentioned before, when I was that age, I was busting my butt at a full-time job so that I could pay my own rent and afford cat food and the like. I had my own health insurance. If my parents were paying for those things, I would be actively busting my butt looking for a job so I could pay them back. Have I never asked my parents for money? Absolutely not. There are times they've helped me with a lot of things. But I always paid them back and I always tried every other option before asking for their help. And when I did, it was only for essentials. My husband is the same way.

Hannah's friend is bored with her relationship. That's fine, all relationships can get stuck in a rut and such. She tells Hannah that "His touch now feels like a weird uncle". I guess I should be glad that I don't have any weird uncles. At least not weird like that. Ugh. Anyway, continuing, Hannah's friend says "...I can feel him being so nice to me, and it makes me so angry." Um...what? Someone being nice to you makes you angry? You're going to have a horrible life, dear. Being bored in the relationship doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong with the person you're dating. Sometimes it just means that you need to switch up your routine a bit. I mean, give the poor guy a chance. Have you even considered talking to him about this? Of course not. Communication in a relationship? Madness!

Hannah then replies to her friend with some nasty language that I won't even bother quoting here. Even when I do talk to my friends about sex (which I do) I do NOT talk like that. I know very few people who do and those are not people I want to be around. I also do not talk to my friends while either of us is in the bathtub. Sorry guys, most girls don't do that sort of thing together.

Hannah's friends eat dinner at 7pm. I have totally done this, seeing that I sometimes don't even get off work until 6:45pm. Now, the more important part of this is the diversity, or lack thereof. I hear that Dunham has already been criticized for this, but I have to admit, given where the show takes place, it's a little odd. I am of the same race and sexual orientation as Dunham, but I live in the American South. It could arguably be called the opposite of New York City. My husband is half-Hispanic, my best friend (though she doesn't live here) is Chinese, and my other best friend is homosexual. Seeing that Lena Dunham is a reasonably intelligent person who should be aware of the demographics of the setting she has chosen and the overwhelming propensity of the media to focus on homogenous people, this could easily have been averted. Perhaps simply with colorblind casting, or not just casting her friends.

So all that said, I just don't see what people love so much about this show, I really resent it being presented as 'the voice of a generation' (especially MY generation), and I am sick to death of hearing about it.

But maybe I'm just weird. Maybe I don't fit very well into my generation. That's okay. I'm cool with that. I'd rather be a grown woman than a girl anyday.

January 20, 2013

Awesome weekend

Image via CrunchBase

The apartment is a mess. We hates it, precious! I suppose that's what happens when I spend a night away. At least I helped my Mom strip the sheets from her bed. I can definitely tell when I visit her that my Flylady routines are rubbing off on her. It is great to see.

T and I managed to squeeze in a run yesterday before I went to my babysitting gig. Since we slacked off over the holidays, we dialed it back to week 3, day 3 of the Couch to 5k program and we'll be progressing from there. I had leftover French Onion soup for dinner and it was actually better the second time. Thanks husband! I also wore the new purple blazer my Mom got me for Christmas. It was very comfortable!

English: french onion soup, as photographed at the Woodhaven House in Rego Park, NY. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This morning T and I watched the TLC show My Strange Addiction on Netflix. I have to admit, it was a little disappointing. Learning about the addictions was interesting, but the program offered little information on the reasons for it and completely glossed over the treatment. I would have really enjoyed more details on that.

The original Dungeons & Dragons set. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is Dungeons and Dragons day. I'm really frustrated that I wasn't able to get my sword back last session, and now we have to play a silly game involving keeping a councilwoman from being assassinated and stopping a riot. It's still the only way for my rogue to get her sword back, so she'll go along with it until she gets what she wants. She also might get a lecture from a teammate on attacking them in order to solve a puzzle. But it solved the puzzle! We wouldn't even have gotten this far if she hadn't done that, so I considered a Crowning Moment of Awesome for my character, Dezirinda.

I really enjoyed visiting with my Mom Friday and Saturday. I was also able to watch a friend of mine audition for a play. It was so funny to see her on stage in the same theater where I performed in my first play. (As a tree.) I was also able to see one of my eighth grade teachers and her daughter, who I babysat when I was about 14. Now that I am older I can't believe she trusted me with that responsibility when I was so young!

June 27, 2012

Hassled by the Real World

English: My Grandfather (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My Mom talked to my Grandfather about a week ago. He will hereafter be referred to as Mr. M. He told her that he loved her and he wanted her to be happy and have a good life, but that he no longer wanted a relationship with her. He told her that she was not there for him after my uncle died.

T has been truly amazing the past couple of days. He has cheered me on in my new job and not pressured me about money at all. He has made me laugh and folded clothes and complimented my cooking. He has forced me to run when I didn't want to and helped pack boxes. I am a very blessed woman to have such a husband.

As mentioned above, I have recently started a new job at a Special Needs Ministry. The clients range in age from 18-55. It is a non-profit (of course, do I work at any other type of place?). I would like to organize some field trips for them or maybe find some good guest speakers but I am not sure what they would be interested in. I am still kind of trying to get a feel for the place.

My car is broken. I am really sad about this and it is seriously the last thing we needed as our money was already stretched super thin this month. We have had to borrow from my parents and I cannot possibly express how much I hate doing that. It makes me nervous to owe anyone money and I hate depending on my parents when I know things have been rough for them lately too. I am in my mid-20s, I should be independent! Aaargh!

We had too much fun tonight. We went to a friend's house for game night. While it was fun and the company was great, I feel like we really shouldn't have gone. I feel like I am trying to do too much and I am packing my schedule too full right now. I jump at every invitation without really considering if it is best for me or will help my get closer to my goals. I need to remind myself of my priorities.

I have been thinking a lot about my previous career lately, if you can even call it a career. I used to work at a residential treatment program. The majority of my coworkers were awful people. However, I enjoyed my work. But I was highly disappointed in the place where I worked. Now I am wondering if all programs in this field are like that. The hours were also terrible. No wonder people in this field burn out so quickly. Combine the high stress of the job with little sleep and it is a recipe for disaster! I truly think this can be prevented.

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