July 22, 2010

Biting the Bullet

So I suppose I do have to bite the bullet and start this blog eventually. I like the autosave feature, by the way. Good job on that one, blogger. I'm also pretty sure I don't even want to know where the phrase 'biting the bullet' comes from. I have my suspicions, by my morbid curiousity is turned off at the moment, so I don't want to know. Please don't tell me in the comments.

I don't feel that I have much of value to say. Or even if it is valuable, I don't feel that I will say it well. This is partially because I am tired and lonely and frustrated and discouraged. It is difficult to form coherent thought. Then again, maybe coherent thought is overrated. Sometimes I think order is overrated. I was arguing with a friend about that general idea earlier this week, though I don't think I made much progress in convincing him of such.

I also feel this way partially because I have a terrible habit of editing myself too much. I do this almost everytime I attempt to be creative, especially in writing. I think I may idolize writing too much. I feel that whatever I put out must be perfect on the first try, and I don't know how to realize what's in my head, so I don't even try. Stupid, I know. I sure do use the phrase 'feel' a lot, don't I? Well, I am an FJ.

Sometimes the best sound in the world is the tiny mew of a cat who has jumped up to lay beside you when you're blogging late at night. These are the things that make me content with my life.

I saw Back to the Future with some friends tonight. It was really nice to see them after a long time apart. We have such busy lives, and sometimes a somewhat unfortunate consequence of the Facebook age is that there are simply too many people that we enjoy and want to stay in touch with. I am always missing someone, always feeling guilty about not having talked to someone in forever. Now I am afraid I may have lost all touch with an old friend because she appears to have deleted her Facebook. I hope the phone number I have for her is still good...

The asters that I planted are doing well. I must remember to water them tomorrow. I forgot to do so today, and it's been sweltering. I would hate for the little sprouts to get struck down before they even have a chance to bloom. My house really needs to be brightened up some, and fall flowers are the perfect thing for it. Fall is my favorite season anyway.

Pictured: Not MY actual asters. Also, I have no bees. Yet.

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